Tonight, I found out that a friend of mine from graduate school lost his first child just weeks before the due date. On Christmas Eve, no less.
What do you say to that? We aren't close. We were friendly in graduate school. Do you call? I emailed. I will send a card. There's a picture of him and his wife standing by the tiny shoe-sized coffin. What subject line can you possibly use in this situation?
I can't know how she's feeling; I've never been with child. I can't imagine how he's feeling. Emailing is so impersonal, but I don't have an address.
She never got to meet her baby. What is it like to grow to love this person inside of you, to never get to meet them? For the person you and your love created to die before anything could even start? Especially since their particular religion means that all of their friends either have children or are with child. How do you handle those emotions? Is it easier to bury a child you never met? Or is it more difficult?
All I can do is pray for them. I don't know. I'm really thrown by this. I think I'm still in shock.
